Marital Conflict Resolution with a Highly Sensitive Introvert
Authored by: Patricia Burton
You're going to fight! Let me tell you what's harder than fighting. Fighting with a highly sensitive Introvert! Whew! Big learing curve for me on this life skill. I did not grow up around anyone that was introverted AND highly sensitive, so talk about a challenge!
Here's a list about the differences when trying to argue with a HSI
1. They HATE to argue
2. It takes them days to cool off
3. They don't bounce back well
4. The affects from a fight can linger for months
5. They take it personally
6. Nothing is funny to them when things get heated
7. They don't want to talk about it
8. If you make a mistake and the fight is your fault, they have to see you changed
9. You can NEVER, EVER be disrespectful, sarcastic or have an attitude
10. They can't handle fast talking
11. They WILL go into emotional overload and check out of the conversation
12. They hate pre-meditation
I could probably list a hundred things, but I'll just highlight the important ones.
What you CAN do to resolve conflict with a HSI
1. Calm yourself down-I can't stress this enough!
2. Be prepared-If you think you are right, you need to be prepared for opposition.
3. Welcome input-let them express their opinions and actually listen to what they say and try to notice their body language.
4. Be willing to negotiate-Trust me, if you are not willing to compromise, you will NEVER make it with a HSI!
5. Show and feel empathy with the HSI. Try hard to be kind and realize a high level of sensitivity in a person developed for a reason. It's way easier for a highly sensitive person to get defensive. They are always trying to preserve their self-esteem.
6. Don't EVER attack their character-Just don't do it under any circumstance unless you are ready to really damage the relationhip
7. Be genuine and let them know you may disagree, but it is because you are both human and we all struggle.
I can't promise you things will work out as planned everytime, but what I can promise you is you will be a better person in the relationship if you try taking some of the actions on this list!